WHY does everything take me so long?

Updated: Oct 23

I'll be honest about my blogging problem: A year ago I'd committed with my business mentor that I'd write and post one blog a week. So, one year later, I should have roughly fifty-two blog posts published on this site. But I don't. I have, I believe, seven so far. Not even close.

So, what stands between me and this goal of posting one blog a week? Well, as with all things ADHD, I overcomplicate the process in my head, rendering the completion of my task heavier and more difficult than it needs to be. I'll be specific about the reasons. Not because you, dear reader, need concern yourself with the details of my struggle to write blog posts; however, undoubtedly you too are avoiding being consistent about something in your life that you're making into a bigger deal than it needs to be.


Okay, so my main "roadblock" to blogging weekly is that I deem it necessary to maintain a standard of including clever cartoon-like pictures to accompany my blogs. In fact, I've been known to spend three hours on the picture--and a mere thirty minutes writing the post. That's out-of-whack, because it isn't necessary. No one ever said to me, "You must accompany each of your weekly blog posts with a clever illustration." And, what makes the picture -procurement aspect especially crazy-making for me is that I don't trust my drawing abilities enough to create the pictures myself. Instead, I go through an arduous process of coming up with an idea, scouring the internet for free images that I can photoshop in a clever way (I admit I'm good at this) to convey something unique to my audience. But I NEVER want to use anything that's copyrighted, so I alter and obscure and re-create in my attempts to not be dishonest in my use of the various images I combine.


Continuing on with my excuses, here are the myriad complications that delay the process further: I know there are sites where I can find free images, but I don't know which ones to use or how those sites work. I could also pay for illustrations, but who would I pay? Or...I could draw my own illustrations, but what if they're not "good enough," or...what if drawing them myself takes too much time? I keep thinking of calling a graphic designer friend who probably could help me figure out what to do moving forward, but it's been a long time since we've talked--what if he's too busy and doesn't want to be bothered? Highly unlikely. He'd probably be glad to discuss this with me.


Do you see how I'm overthinking this whole thing and spinning in circles in my head? Don't tell me you can't relate; if you have ADHD you probably do this same thing yourself, albeit in a different area of your life. By the time you (or I) get around to what we say we're going to do, the relatively simple task has taken on additional weight it was never meant to have. And then procrastination sets in because the task is so...heavy and complicated!


For me, creating original work, both writing and image-making, is the thrill; getting it done consistently is H-A-R-D!!! But the pressure to be original makes me a perfectionist and a crazy person because I'm trying too hard.


So, I'm timing myself on this blog post. I've still "got to" add an image (not that it's mandatory, which I've explained, ad infinitum -I apologize if I'm overstating this). When I'm done finding a picture I'll let you know how long this whole thing took--and then I'll hit "publish." Then I can put a satisfying check beside the to-do list entry that shows up in my digital calendar's to-do list every Wednesday, which I, of course, ignore and eventually delete out of exasperation: "Write weekly blog post."


Well, I just went past the hour mark, but maybe by only five minutes. How did I do it? Simple--I used someone else's artwork and I gave them credit for it, along with a link so you can purchase it yourself if you're so inclined. That should be okay, right? I suppose they could get mad about it and find out where I live and....and...(my head starts spinning until it blows up).


Anyway, I am proud of myself for completing this post. Yay, me!!






© 2020 Merle Kaplan, CEO A Brilliant Mess